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Actress Chloe Grace Moretz and her friends attempt to re-enact the famous “Baywatch” slow motion swimsuit run on the beach in the video above.

Thanks to her boxy frame and nonexistent breast meat, seeing Chloe run in slow motion in a bikini like this is about as sexy as watching a toad straining to take a shit. Clearly Chloe needs to come to the realization that she is built like a steakhouse, and the two homoqueers that she and her friend are chasing produce more tit jiggling then she does.

I have it on good authority that Chloe is addicted to visiting this holy Islamic website (even going so far as to impulsively read it on her cell phone while in the ocean in the photo above), so I can directly impart to her this valuable piece of adviceā€¦ Immediately cover your frumpy body in a burka, convert to Islam, and pray with all your might that Allah does not smite your flabby flat ass for being such a brazen whore you delusional skank.

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