Celebrities: Alison Brie, Emma Stone, Kaley Cuoco, non-sexual cameos from Jenna Fischer and Tina Fey
Warnings: M/F, Cons, Oral, Masturbation, Fantasy, Phone Sex
Late April 2012
Thanks to a TMZ employee sneaking onto the “Glee” set while its defenses were down, there was photographic proof of my tryst with Lea Michele. Of course it was barely legal to post the photos and they were taken down quickly, but they were clear enough for the TMZ staff to identify my face, do some research and out me by name.
The attention mainly fell on Lea and “Glee” since they were the bigger targets, as I was just a small part by comparison. Yet since I was a part to begin with, it reflected badly on the temp agency; and just enough to get me fired. Despite over four years of being associated with them, I was too big of a pr risk for them to keep me on and for other shows to hire me now. I argued that this would die down by the time I would be up for more jobs in the fall season, yet it wasn’t enough.
The only good part was that I was able to deny that I had done this with other actresses. I don’t know if they believed me, and TMZ and other bloggers/tabloids were probably looking into my work on all those other shows. Yet they had nothing so far and I wasn’t going to spill and let the other actresses get caught up in this. Besides, not all of them knew about my extensive history, and it was already awkward enough that those who didn’t now knew about Lea.
Since my time on the “Glee” set was over and there was no way I could get away with going back there, I couldn’t even contact Lea and try to help her. I don’t know if she would have accepted regardless, yet I wished I would have had the chance to find out. But after this and after being fired, I doubted I would ever hear from another actress ever again.
With that, I stayed camped out in my house; which was easy for me since I rarely left the house for reasons other than work. At least I had my freelance work to focus on, although the site’s owners were probably unhappy to be associated with me now too. But it was a freelance site and they couldn’t kick me out for scandals that had nothing to do with the site, so I figured I was safe there.
I would try to treat this like any other time in between temp jobs; ignoring the fact that none would come again and I kept getting calls from tabloids that I had to ignore. The calls were less frequent today than in the first two days, but they were still no less aggravating.
As such, when I heard another call while I was trying to relax in my living room recliner, I closed my eyes in frustration and let everything boil over for a bit. It fueled me to pick up the phone next to me, without looking at the Caller ID, and answer it by yelling “What?!”
“Whoh, I hope you save some of that for Perez Hilton.” That wasn’t a blogger or tabloid hound. In fact, I actually recognized this voice. “Tina?”
Tina Fey was actually on the phone, which left me scrambling for a number of reasons. “Oh, I’m sorry, I…..wait, how did you get my number? Did anyone see you getting my number?!”
“I looked it up on your resume, first of all. And don’t worry, I played Sarah Palin and I associate freely with Alec Baldwin. Trust me, I know how to get around the tabloid-sphere,” Tina pointed out. “Even if I didn’t, I had to check up on you. Especially after you got fired.”
I almost asked how she knew that too, but I figured my firing had made the tail end of the scandal sheets and blogs by now. I avoided all reporting on the matter, so I wouldn’t know. “So you know about….stuff like that,” I timidly said. Since Tina was one of the few who knew I made a habit of getting naked with actresses, I knew she wouldn’t judge me for being with Lea, so that was a comfort.
But I didn’t know if it was safe to talk about it with her, in case my time on “30 Rock” got scrutinized. If they knew I was with Tina on the night Sarah Palin lost, the Tea Party blogs would have a field day and then all hell would break loose for both of us. Nevertheless, I heard Tina say “I know how unfair it is, that’s for sure. I’m pretty sure TV sets and temp agencies keep around worse things than you, even when they get in trouble. But I can get them in trouble by calling them and getting your job back.”
“No, don’t!” I blurted out. “You can’t be seen helping me, or they’ll….link us together too. You really can’t afford to be caught up in stuff like that. Your job, your reputation….your marriage…..it could all get a blowback by being linked to me.”
“I kind of already remembered that…..I kinda wish I didn’t, though. It’s not going to be the same without you around here getting lucky every November,” Tina admitted. “Well…..maybe when this dies down, it might be safe to fight for you then.”
“Maybe, but I’ll be fine right now,” I semi-lied. “It does help that you were thinking about me, though. It might not be the best move, but it is flattering….even though you really didn’t have to.”
“Like I said, I associate freely with Alec Baldwin, and Tracy Morgan too. So I’m getting good at helping friends through a pr crisis.” My first thought was to be taken aback and flattered that Tina called me a friend. My next was to remember how I used that word with Lea before things came crashing down. “Hey, you can still come down and visit 30 Rock once TMZ forgets your name, okay?” Tina asked to interrupt my thoughts.
“Yeah….I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Tina….you are a good friend in a pr crisis,” I complimented. We exchanged about two-three more goodbyes and good lucks before hanging up, leaving me to sit back on my recliner and be freshly taken back at Tina’s support. Maybe her pull would pay off once the scandal died down and the tabloid/blogosphere forgot about me; although TV sets and temp agencies have longer memories. But just having her think enough of me to call on me helped me take my first peaceful nap in a while.
The next thing I knew, I heard the phone ring again to snap me out of my nap. Once again I picked it up without looking to see who it was; only this time I had a groggy “Hello?” to say instead of an angry “What?!”
“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” It was another voice I recognized; in fact, it was the one that helped start it all. “I can call back if you’re too tired or too worn out to talk,” Jenna Fischer proposed.
“No, no, I’m fine, I’m refreshed….certainly enough for you,” I stated. “Jesus, first Tina and now you checking up on me….that’s kind of an ironic order, all things considering. I shouldn’t say how over the phone, just in case.”
“I know what you mean anyway,” Jenna assured. “I wondered now and then how much bigger that…..order got after me and Tina. But it sucks that you’re in trouble for doing that with someone else, so I won’t ask about….anyone else.”
If someone was listening in, this would probably be gold, so I tried to change directions. “Did anyone call the ‘Office’ bosses about me? To get dirt on me or something?” I inquired.
“I don’t think so, and if they did, they didn’t tell me,” Jenna filled me in. “So you don’t have to worry about….us being a part of this. Especially with all your worries…..I hope Tina offered to help you out with them. She has the pull to do it, you know.”
“Of course I know, but it’s not safe for her or any of my….connections to help me now. Or get caught talking to me. Plus you have the new husband and baby, and with you….heading up the order and all….there is no way in Hell I want you tied to this.”
“That isn’t talking me out of it as well as you think,” Jenna needled. “But I already knew all that….wish I didn’t, though. If I could, I would make my case to that agency and get you a new job….finally pay back that debt I owe you.”
“No, no, I owe you much more….regardless of how that chain reaction you set up ended up,” I hinted with my own lack of subtlety.
“Well, I hope you’re back in a TV studio soon, so you can keep doing what I taught you. But I guess you don’t always need a TV studio for that to pay off,” Jenna joked. Since the vast majority of my sex in the last four years had been on TV studios, I might have argued that I did need it; but that wasn’t an ideal argument for me. As such, I settled for a few more goodbyes and congratulations to Jenna before hanging up.
I wasn’t going to go back to sleep after that, as I stayed awake longer over how Jenna reached out. Considering how this all ended, it was nice to hear from where it started. And to think, if I hadn’t worked for Jenna at the exact time that I did, we likely wouldn’t have hooked up and nothing that happened afterwards would have happened. That had its upside at a time like this, yet the downside of never getting close to the actresses, and never getting close to Jenna either, was still too strong.
Those memories got me through the next half-hour before I heard the phone ring again. This time I picked it up normally and checked the Caller ID; and I recognized the phone number. Since I wasn’t angry or groggy, I answered with a more normal “Kaley?”
“Hey….so, what’s up with you?” Kaley Cuoco asked lightly. She meant to reference my exposure as a joke, which might be a good strategy for a little while; at least better than the alternative. “Well, about the usual. Same old same old, except I’m hiding from paparazzi in my spare time.”
“Well, I don’t think they’ve tapped my phones yet, so I thought it’d be safe to check on you,” Kaley responded. That prospect was a little harder to joke about, but I brushed it off. “If I’d known that’s what would make you call, I’d have gotten nude photos taken of myself long ago,” I tried to joke, although it could have been taken in a few serious ways.
“It’s not like I needed them, though. You can’t sit on the laps of photos and put your face on them.” Now I really did wish they hadn’t thought to tape anyone’s phones yet. “It pisses me off that you’re getting fired for that kind of stuff! It’s not like anyone was complaining before, right?”
“I suppose not,” I said carefully. “But you know the business and I’m just finding out about its backstabbing side, I guess.”
“I do hope your back is okay, sweetie,” Kaley hoped. “I wish I could come down there and help you.”
“I kind of do, too. But if they don’t know I was your actual personal assistant already, they would from that. Then they’d bug you most of all about whether I have a ‘history.’”
“But it’s good history. I don’t just mean the really hot history, I mean the one where you helped me at work and did all my stuff! You’re good at lots of things with your clothes on, and now no one’s going to care about that for a while! That’s the bitch of the whole thing,” Kaley lamented.
“A bitch indeed….but with something like this, there isn’t much to do but call it bitchy,” I lamented as well.
“Like I said, I wish I could help you forget about it more, I really do. I thought every now and then about….how your work with me ended, you know. Now with all this, it does make me think about it more….I hope that gives you comfort in some way. Every little bit helps, right? Or big bit when it comes to this.”
“I’m flattered….and not just for you calling it big,” I needled her, which made us both laugh at this joke. “Well….you and the Big Bang gang keep making funny stuff…..I’ll need more of that for a while too.”
“Then I’ll tease Sheldon extra hard for you, honey,” Kaley promised before we exchanged goodbyes and hung up.
This reunion had a different effect on me than the last two, if only because it got more sexual. I hadn’t really thought about those things since the story broke, since it helped get me in this mess and I had too much to panic about. As such, I probably had more cum built up than usual, although I had fewer erections; or at least didn’t pay as much attention to them.
But with the knowledge that Kaley did think about our night together, even before this last week, it inspired me to pay attention. I usually didn’t masturbate on my recliner, and there was probably a risk since there were windows nearby for more spies to peek through. Yet I took the risk, put the nearest blanket over myself, and learned all the way back on the recliner while unbuckling myself.
Assured that no one could peek in on me this time, I let my thoughts go to Kaley once again. I had used our night together for times like this before, as I did with all the actresses. I wanted to make this one really good, so I tried to make my memories as vivid as I could. As I closed my eyes and started stroking myself, I flash backed to my time with Kaley with all my mental power.
It really didn’t warrant that much effort, given how vivid my actual time with Kaley was. I gripped my cock in hopes that it could match how Kaley suckled on it, and how she closed her tits around it as well. For good measure, I laid my groin besides the arm seat, in hopes it could compare to how her soft, shapely ass laid on it as she rode me. But nothing on that chair could match the feel of her bouncing, ample breasts on my hands.
This led me to imagine things that I actually hadn’t done that night; but I could rewrite history in my fantasies. There I spent even more time devouring her bosom before she went back to rubbing her pussy on my face. Her golden blonde hair fell through my fingers when she went back to riding me, and when she swallowed my cock whole to make me climax.
Thinking about that got my real-life climax nearer, so I thrust myself into my hand faster like I would have done to Kaley’s pussy at that moment. In fact, I would lay her down right on this recliner and keep going even if it toppled over.
If we fell to the floor, that would give her the chance to roll on top of me, tighten on my cock and rub every inch of her gorgeous body up against mine. Her tits would slide up and down my nipples, I would squeeze her ass as she brought herself closer to the finish; then she would moan and say she was cumming right into my ear and suckle on it right at the final moment.
A final moment which happened to come right then, while I was still on my recliner and there was no Kaley to moan into my ear. Yet I let the fantasy linger a bit longer as I spurted into my hand and tried not to let it get on my pants, recliner or blanket. About a few minutes after it faded, I had the energy to get up, wash the cum off my hand and get myself presentable again; as if I was going anywhere.
In fact, since it was the late afternoon, I changed out of my jean shorts and into my pj-shorts, made myself dinner and tried to watch TV other than entertainment news channels. There were a few more calls made, but they were either from news people or friends looking for dirty details that I wasn’t going to give them either. I hoped and prayed I would fall asleep again before my parents could call for another even more awkward conversation.
The next call instead came well before bedtime at about 9 p.m. The caller ID didn’t identify anyone, so I figured I’d let this go to voice mail and take satisfaction in deleting it. I turned the TV down and waited for the beep; but when it came I heard another familiar non-media voice.
“Hello? Are you there, or are you telling TMZ to get off your lawn?” the distinctive voice of Emma Stone asked right before I picked up. “No, no I’m here! And they haven’t been on my lawn since yesterday, actually,” I somehow thought up on the spot.
“Good, maybe they found some other naked guy to torture by now,” Emma hoped.
“I can only hope. But I didn’t except to hear you talking to this one. Won’t the Spider-Man people frown on you getting tied to my scandal?” I double checked.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m calling from my new movie set. If those producers are listening in, I’m sure Sony can pay them to sit on this anyway,” Emma dared. “Just because FOX couldn’t pay to cover your nice ass doesn’t mean Marvel wouldn’t. But I’m sure I won’t have to test them here.”
“Okay then….with that out of the way, it is good to hear from you,” I conceded. “I’m sorry if I don’t sound shocked, but you’re not the first actress to call me today.”
“Damn, you’ve got a loyal harem! But I would have called yesterday if we had fewer takes, so point for me.”
“All right, I’ll give it to you,” I said before backtracking. “Please don’t twist that last statement around….or that last one.”
“What do you expect me to do now that you put it in my head?” Emma asked. “But okay, you’re the tabloid scapegoat, I guess I have to back off on you.”
“Just on that. I don’t mind you not backing off on other things, like calling me,” I reassured her. “I admit, having you and….a few of the others call is a bit of an ego boost. It came at the right time, with my chance for a legitimate career crashing and all.”
“Come on, you got lots of great stuff to offer. Just get an article picked up by someone or sell a book and you’ll be fine,” Emma reasoned.
“Doing that while I was just known on the Internet and on TV sets for a few days was hard enough. Doing it as the guy caught having sex on the ‘Glee’ set might be a foot in the door…..but at the cost of being taken seriously. I’ll either get rejected for good stuff, or have to write sordid stuff that I don’t really want to do. We can’t all get something like ‘Superbad’ to start things off,” I wrapped up while trying not to sound bitter.
“A lot of people didn’t and they turned out okay. And it’s not like getting caught with your pants off stopped guys from making good stuff too. Besides, if other guys didn’t keep taking the heat off with worse scandals later, there wouldn’t be a TMZ, would there?”
“So there’s a reason not to firebomb it,” I realized. “I guess you’ve got me there. Besides, I can’t whine compared to Lea….I wish she could call so I could make sure she was okay. But I suppose she’s too busy hiding from the press and trying to finish up her last episode….or whatever Ryan Murphy decided it was. I just hope she’s fine either way.”
“Me too….I mean, that could have happened to you and me back at ‘SNL.’ If I found out about you earlier, it probably would have,” Emma predicted.
“No, I’m usually much more careful, believe me,” I assured. “And I wasn’t spotted with Tina or Anne in their rooms back at 30 Rock…..but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore here,” I trailed off when I realized I got too comfortable and spilled secrets again. Yet Emma already knew I had been with Lea and Mila Kunis too, so it shouldn’t have taken her aback.
“Wow….if I was a tabloid girl, that’d be just another reason to jack off to you,” Emma exclaimed. Her candor did catch me off guard a little, which gave her time to keep going. “Well, it’s nice to know we could have gotten away with it in the studio.”
“Yeah, but I liked the hotel better,” I finally responded. “You and Mila were the only ones I was with outside of a set. At least there we didn’t have to rush before you had to go on…..not that I would have really rushed. I would have still been as thorough as I was, just in less time.”
“That is relieving to know,” Emma admitted. I then pushed my luck and pressed on, asking “So you did think about it before that night?”
“After I figured out who you were….and maybe I had some fleeting thoughts before that too. But it was too late to do anything on that Friday night, so I settled for Sunday morning. Not that I got you into the after party to fuck you, we went through that! I really did want you to have fun, in case we didn’t have more fun ourselves.”
“I know, you’re sweet like that,” I complimented. “And in….other areas too.” I didn’t think I was consciously steering this to a dirty area, but my pent up and frustrated unconscious was certainly having a say.
“I think sweet was only the right word for some of it. I could get a little more descriptive for the rest of it,” Emma reminded me. “Then again, you said you liked it when I talked.”
“I do remember telling the truth about that,” I recalled as I started to notice the….effect this was having on me.
“The only time you wanted me to shut up was when your cock was in my mouth. Even then, you probably wanted me to keep talking. But I think moaning helped you too….until you filled my mouth with something else to shut me up. It was worth the silence….and I’m sure Mila and Lea and Tina and anyone else you fucked thought so too. At least I’m more certain that I did.”
“Oh fuck….” I groaned as my loose bed pants were getting far too tight. My moan probably gave that away, before I realized it wasn’t appropriate for a regular phone conversation; if that’s what this was. “I guess I know what your other hand is doing now,” Emma said to shatter the illusion.
“No, no it isn’t….” I insisted. But after Emma didn’t say anything, I took the chance and said “I can’t promise it won’t, though.”
“Do I make it break promises like that a lot?” Emma asked curiously. Now crafting some lines of my own, I responded “It doesn’t hold it against you. It just wishes I wasn’t the only thing it could touch.”
“Like my red hair? I know your hand liked touching that. It liked getting a hold of my ass too….and even my boobs somehow.”
“It liked feeling every part of you…..every soft, gorgeous part,” I revealed as my free hand finally touched my free cock and didn’t intent to let go for a while.
“Don’t sell yourself short, you had a lot of hot parts too. Maybe you’re not Ryan or Andrew….but I only pretended to fuck them on screen. I fucked you and let that explosive cock in me, and let that talented tongue warm me up first. That’s gotta……mmm, tell you something,” The “mmm” in the middle of that didn’t escape me, and neither did the two little ones a few seconds later.
“It tells me you’re going right to thinking about my cock first,” I guessed. But Emma shot back “No….I’m just playing with my pussy, not fucking it yet. We can keep talking about your tongue for a while.” I almost remembered to question where she was and whether phone sex could be overheard at her location. Yet a few more little groans over the phone erased that concern.
“Don’t just pretend it’s on there. Try to imagine it trailing up those creamy legs of yours…..maybe before dabbing a bit over that sweet, pretty ass too. Then I’m sure you remember what it did to those nipples of yours.” Emma’s groans were a little more frequent, before saying “Great, now I have to work my nipples and pussy while I’m holding the phone. If I was in my room and not my trailer, I could put this on speaker, but I just had to call you now, didn’t I?”
“Okay, okay, I’ll give you a minute to put the phone down,” I offered, hoping her frustration was more comical than serious. “No….no, I just tweaked them good enough to hold them up, I’m good there,” Emma promised. “Maybe that made your tongue too tired to carry the load….unlike the thing that actually carries the load. I even made you release it all over my back the first time….so it really wanted to land on me.”
“It would have already if you were here,” I got carried away enough to admit. Emma followed up by saying “Then I really should pretend to ride you while I have the chance.” I let her do that while I leaned back on the recliner and imagined Emma’s naked body on my cock instead of just my hand. I almost felt tempted to stick my tongue out and circle the nipples where I imagined they would be. But I just stared straight ahead of me, where I imagined Emma’s glorious green eyes and smirk were.
I even pictured her mouth moving while the Emma I heard on the phone said “Yeah….yeah, pretend to fuck me….make me miss the real thing more….”
Fueled by her saying that she did miss it, I stroked myself harder while listening closely for the sounds of Emma playing with herself. “The real thing….lasted longer back then than it might now….so you know….”
“I’ll just….have to work harder to keep up with you, then,” Emma panted as her breathing got quicker.
“Just picture my imaginary dick going in deeper…..your imaginary pussy is certainly doing the job. Just like the real one did….did it so good while it was so tight and so wet….” I rambled.
“Jesus, and you said my voice was good! I gotta up my game in that too!” Emma strained to say.
“You don’t have to be that over the top…..just say and do whatever you want, whether you’re trying to beat me or not,” I said as my hand worked harder on my shaft and head.
“Okay….what I want is to breathe on the top of it, lick it, kiss it, whisper it and beg it to shoot off. If it’s bothered by hearing me talk right into it….all it’s got to do is cum and fill me up to keep me quiet. Come on….I’ve already got you cumming all over my lips and mouth in my mind…..that’s gotta get you close too….”
“More than even you know….more than…..” With that, Emma heard the proof of my words as I loudly came; gripping my cock and my phone so hard that I thought I might break them both in half. But they stayed intact as I eventually relaxed my grips, right as I heard Emma bring herself close to the finish.
If she really was in a trailer, she probably shouldn’t have been as loud as she sounded, yet maybe the phone just amplified her voice. However loud she was, she started to sound quieter after a particularly passionate moan, which meant she had cum too. My guess was that she didn’t let it spray and land on a blanket or her pants like I did, however.
“Fuck, that was intense,” I heard Emma get out. “Are you still breathing?” Eventually I lifted the phone back up and answered “Yeah….kinda messy now, but I’m fine. At least this is the good kind of mess….I was due for one of those.”